In my attempt to avoid unloading the dishwasher (what an awful chore to do three times a day), I stumbled upon the blog of an old friend. He and I were not close, except in age, but he did take me on my first date so I thought I could read up on his goings on. Instead, I found the most profound and moving post I've ever read. Really. It is the kind of writing that expresses feelings you have, in a way you never could. If your heart needs a reminder of what makes life important (and it's not the dishwasher getting unloaded), you must read this:
http://benjaminallred.blogspot.com/
I'm also sucked into the book I mentioned in my previous book tag post. Mostly it's just entertainment value of high profile executive stories but I've found some small pockets of wisdom even a stay-at-home mother could use.
"People like to be praised, and they don't like to be criticized. Pretty simple, right? Praise makes us feel energized and capable, and critcism makes us feel bad and uncertain. So, logically, you should praise your colleagues freely, but confine your criticisms to those things that are truely important. Remember that words matter, as does the way you deliver them."
I added the italics and in my mind substituted family for colleagues. This seems so simple but if I could just master it my life would be drastically different. Why is it that with my spouse I feel more free to criticize? I am so quick to forget the power of words. Lucky for me he both has a bad memory and a forgiving heart, but in the future I hope I can continue to decrease the need for these, with kinder words.
8 comments:
That was a great post. I also liked the link to your friends post. I needed the reminder on how important it is to reflect often on my actions and how they affect others and also just on how I want to live my life. Thanks for this post!
Kim- great post. Ben's blog was surprisingly good for a boys (I mean...??) blog. Is he married yet? Your post brough back memories of a song I havn't listened to in years..."words, that don't mean nothin', so tell me why they hurt so much?" If I remember correctly we first heard this song in Brookview 14 and it was an instant hit. Still rings true today...but in a different way.
sorry about the misspelled words-kids grabbing my arm. must go...
My last boss is my favorite leader ever. She just seems to do almost everything right. One thing that surprises me about her leadership style, though is that she can ball you out and tell you exactly how wrong you were and why, but leave you feeling like you can do better next time and not feeling like you just got knocked down a peg.
I think it's the way she says it. She never says anything actually mean, cutting, or accusative and she says it in a friendly tone. You feel chewed out afterward, but not wounded. It's kinda cool and seems to get results, though I'm not sure it's exactly how I want to do it myself.
I find that business and family spill over onto each other a lot sometimes. I'm sure more so for people with kids, as you've got people you have to manage either way!
I loved your thoughts in that post. I think we can all relate. Happy late birthday! Sorry, I was in Utah then and couldn't write you a happy birthday note! Hope you had a great one!
I like your new header for your blog. It looks really cool. Also, your surveys are fun!
I really enjoyed your post. It is always great to remind ourselves to be more positive especially to those that we love. Thank goodness for loving and forgiving husbands. Thanks for the reminder.
PS--I liked the ice cream quiz...I was vanilla as well, and Craig was mint chocolate chip (that one had something to do about being witty--go figure...)
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